October 1, 2022

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Good atmosphere everybody. So ICYMI That is an abbreviation in case you missed it. It helps? Okay, to hell with everybody. Yesterday, President Biden hosted an inflation-lowering celebration. However possibly you had one thing extra nice, like sticking a brush cutter in your rectum. Do not choose.

He stored it on the White Home garden as a result of he could not bear in mind the place the entrance door was and thus could not urinate on the rugs. As well as, further fertilizer can all the time be used for this garden. Now he deserted this celebration even when inflation reached 8.3%. His employees wished to cancel, however Jill had already informed Joe that there can be balloons, clouds, and ponies. Nevertheless it felt like that they had a shock party for a corpse after which watched the corpse chirp for 25 minutes.

CNN TERMS BIDEN’S INFLATION REDUCTION SPEECH AS DOW FALLS: ‘HARD TO BE FESTIVE’

It is humorous, at most memorials you by no means ask your self, “When is that this factor going to close up?” And actually, Joe ought to be celebrating the financial system? It is just like the Washington Generals parade after a season of play within the Harlem Globetrotters. Hooray, we handed zero and eighty-two. It is like Alec Baldwin gave himself an A in marksmanship. What, one thing occurred? It is like Brian Kilmead threw himself a ebook celebration. And it all the time sucks when actuality crashes into your fantasies.

President Biden speaks concerning the Inflation Discount Act of 2022 throughout a ceremony on the South Garden of the White Home.
(AP Photograph/Andrew Harnick)

Whereas Biden was bragging about his faux achievement, the inventory market crashed quicker than Joe’s nostril within the nearest ponytail. The Dow Jones fell 1200 factors. This is likely one of the largest falls since Pleasure Behar tried to take a seat in a bean bag. Meals costs hold going up, housing is drying up, and Joe retains gaslighting us like we’re fart fraternity boys. You recognize, we used to like them. A method or one other, his first mistake was to ask a newcomer to at the moment’s music scene, James Taylor, to open the feast. Right here is the clip.

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Oh come on, it wasn’t that dangerous. Let’s strive once more.

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Oh, he is actually aged and never in a great way. Like a bag of cabbage buried within the yard. So previous Joe requested Taylor to start out with a music known as “Hearth and Rain”, which is how Hunter describes the sensation when he pees. That is all. That is the joke of the night time. Nonetheless, clearly it is about suicide and heroin habit, which is sensible, suicide and habit are two issues that succeeded beneath Joe. However maybe the message is: “Sure, instances are robust beneath Biden, nevertheless it may have been worse.” You could be compelled to take heed to this music without end. This can make you attain for drugs or throw your self on the sharp finish of Joe’s catheter.

However I do not blame the White Home for taking Taylor. Initially, Joe requested for Sinatra, and earlier than that, Glenn Miller. Sadly, everybody Joe heard about died or was killed by Hillary. However should not you be considering? Should not you be fascinated with what you are considering in the meanwhile?

PRESIDENT BIDEN: Take into consideration what you’d be considering at the moment. Take into consideration how you’d really feel should you had no insurance coverage and no cash. It’s not proper. We’re not like that, and we’ll repair that too.

Joe, do us a favor. Please cease fixing issues. This isn’t your forte. I imply, you are much less helpful than a homeless dude attempting to scrub your windshield with a piss bottle. Good day Jimmy Failla, however a minimum of America’s soul is alive.

James Taylor sings during an Inflation Reduction Act event on the South Lawn of the White House.

James Taylor sings throughout an Inflation Discount Act occasion on the South Garden of the White Home.
(AP Photograph/Andrew Harnick)

PRESIDENT BIDEN: The soul of America is vivid. America’s future is vivid and America’s prospects are actual. That is actual. That is actual.

Sure. Be suspicious when a politician refers to your soul. Dangerous leaders depend on summary ideas after they cannot level to concrete successes. Depart my soul away from this. And what about fuel costs, battle, crime? However I believe it is laborious and tough to make progress in each nation, similar to in ours.

PRESIDENT BIDEN: Making progress in each nation as giant and complicated as ours is tough. It isn’t straightforward, and it by no means has been.

In order that’s your excuse. It is sophisticated. Nicely, I hate to inform you, sport is your job and everybody earlier than you has carried out it higher. I’m wondering if it is the spherical of applause?

NANCY PELOSI: Me, it is a spherical of applause.

RUBIO RIFF ON BIDEN’S INFLATION HOLIDAY: ‘I’M ASHALED WITH JAMES TAYLOR’

It is so cute when the mind clings to Botox. However speak about a nasty time, a victory lap over inflation, because the inflation numbers come out. It appears like Joe is directing the band taking part in on the Titanic, similar to he did in 1912. He performs like a loopy vacation clown as the workers are compelled to fake they’re there by alternative. After all, the White Home advertises decrease fuel costs, which is what occurs when folks cease shopping for fuel as a result of it is too excessive, and also you’re liable for elevating it within the first place. He is just like the man who set fireplace to his neighbor’s home after which desires to be known as a hero as a result of he saved their cat. Inform me about gaslighting.

Gasoline costs rise once you purchase it and fall when you do not. I name this the Catch 22, which can also be the expected variety of instances Joe will contract COVID by January. Meals went up 13.5%, electrical energy went up 15.8%, lease went up 7%, medical insurance went up a whopping 24%. However ask KJP, I’m wondering if she’s going to say that costs in our nation haven’t modified a lot over the previous two years, months.

White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre speaks at a briefing at the White House on Tuesday, September 9.  December 13, 2022 in Washington.

White Home Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre speaks at a briefing on the White Home on Tuesday, September 9. December 13, 2022 in Washington.
(AP Photograph/Evan Vucci)

KARINE JEAN-PIERRE: Within the final two months, costs in our nation haven’t modified a lot.

Mmm. Sure, similar to scanning your mind. I might name her a puppet, however I don’t need to obtain offended letters from Miss Piggy. The factor is, we knew there can be inflation in any case authorities spending, however what we did not anticipate was that they had been saying that a rise in authorities spending would clear up the issues brought on by authorities spending. And now, canceling Biden’s scholar mortgage will value us one other half a trillion.

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Whereas households spend their financial savings on the essential wants of life, Joe bails out Gender Research graduates who refuse loans they’ve agreed to repay. He rewards the least deserving by punishing those that have paid their money owed. This can solely trigger costs to rise. However Joe would not care. He threw himself a celebration. And Joe will take any excuse to chop the cake or the cheese. So apparent that I’m wondering what Joe has to say.

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